The secret to maintaining a lifelong romantic connection
A common online marketing technique is to send something tangible or give free advice on a regular basis to encourage you to visit the vender’s website often. If I am to ‘sell’ you my advice, then I must play the role of an authority (and you know I don’t like that) because if you don’t believe that I am an expert then you will not pay for my advice in the future.
A friend of mine suggested that I should give you advice in my blog to encourage you to stay with me. Her advice was appreciated–it is business oriented and from that perspective it makes sense–but it is not what I am creating this website for. I am creating this website to foster a friendship-based community, not a business-based one. That is another reason I don’t wish to appear as an authority: I’m not trying to sell you any workshops or seminars.
Then we must ask: what is friendship?
Would we have a friendship if your only motivation for coming to the blog was to get free advice? Would we be able to call each other a friend, if our only motivation was to gain money or free advice from each other?
What if our motivation is to gain amusement together? To enjoy each other’s company in a real-life situation where our relationship was based on laughter, good times and entertainment. Would the relationship that we call friendship be sustainable if it were based upon positive feelings only? If this is the reason that you read my blogs then it would mean that I would have to write something funny in every blog or it would be the end of our on-line connection.
To me, friendship is the special and close relationship with another soul. A genuine friendship contains the elements of mutual attachment, trust, support, charity, respect and sharing. True friendship is enduring. I want a friendship, not a business connection with you, so I speak to you from my heart as a friend. I share my authentic self, my feelings, my thoughts and my attitudes (even though you don’t like my attitude, J). Friendship expands only in a reciprocal environment which is why I invite you to share your voice and your experiences with me and the other readers of this blog. You read this because my voice speaks to you, we respect each other’s own unique life experiences, and differences. More that that, we celebrate the humanness that we share together. As an online friend, I will challenge you to explore the depths of your own life to discover truly who you are, and through that we will have moments where we agree and where we disagree.
The ability to create a genuine friendship is the same ability used to create a life-long romantic connection. Would a romantic relationship last if you were afraid to be alone and your partner only wanted you for sex? Would the relationship last if you only wanted good times together and not share any bad times? How about if the relationship is based on a monetary cost-benefit calculation? After sex and the initial excitement of a good courtship is done, then what is left? What is reality then?
Is the foundation of your romantic liaison cemented by an enduring friendship? If yes, then the odds are in your favor that the romantic connection with your partner will last – perhaps for life.
For my readers who are looking for a love connection: Pay attention to your potential love interest’s business attitudes. If the only selling technique that they can think of is to give away little freebies in order to get a connection with customers so that they can sell them something, then the probability is strong that they view the romantic relationship that they have with you as a relationship employment. (For more information about the concept of relationship employment, please refer to “The Sacred Path of the Soulmate”, Chapter 4)
What does friendship mean to you, your friend and your lover?
What personality traits does it take to create genuine and enduring friendship?