If you take responsibility, you will be the master of your romantic fate

You can be God to determine your fate, how?

How we understand human nature and life is constrained by the worldview we subscribe to. Since you have a choice to choose your worldview, you can play the role of God to determine your fate.

In June 4th article, I used Essays In Love by Alain De Botton to discuss the concept of romantic fate. Even though Alain is a deep thinker, he cannot escape his own limitations. Alain is the product of his culture he grew up with. How he sees life, love, relationships and himself is the product of theories and concepts he subscribes to. Since Alain uses the scientific theory to explain romantic encounter and why a relationship fails, I take the liberty to assume that he is the follower of scientific based revolutionary worldview. If he were to utilize different concepts, theories and a new worldview to observe life, he would experience relationships and see reality differently even though the ending of the story is the same.

From the reincarnation worldview, it is possible that Alain crossing Chloe’s path was meant to be if they are soulmates with unfinished business or feelings. In the reincarnation worldview, there is no need for the concept of God to bring two persons together. It is the karmic forces, the causes and effects carried from past lives combined with the current environment that creates a relationship.

Imagine this life situation: on Tuesday night, you call your beloved to ask him/her to meet you Friday for dinner at your favourite restaurant. When you walk into the restaurant that night, would you credit meeting with your beloved to God’s will? Would you believe it is fated to meet your beloved?  Meeting your beloved on Friday night is an intentional act, which is the effect. The cause is you and your beloved making plans together 3 nights ago.

(Did you watch 2006 film “The Secret”?  This movie and its sister book posits the theory “Law of Attraction” in which the power of the thoughts can create a reality. If we focus our thoughts strongly enough, our thoughts will attract the outcome that we desire. If this theory holds true, then don’t make too many vows and promises, be careful what you wish for. If you promise your ex that you will take care of her/him for life but you fail to do so, then your ex will come back into your future life to demand what you had promised even though you changed your mind.)

The romantic encounter with your beloved is not fatalistic because by definition fatalism means that there is an external agency with power to decide when and how events occur. This external agency decides the finality of the event ahead of time without consulting us. Whatever happens will happen, regardless of whether or not we take action. This is the very essence of fatalism.

In reincarnation worldview, we cannot remember our past lives due to an amnesia that preconditions the rebirth. There are many version of reincarnation worldview. Although I am not a Buddhist, I choose to use the concept of reincarnation in Buddhist philosophy to make sense of the human experience.

The concept of reincarnation in Buddhism is intimately tied to the concept of karma. During the era of Buddha Gautama, the concept of karma means that the cause and effect induced by the action we take is guided by our intention. Buddhism, like many other philosophies, grew over time. In the Sacred Path of the Soulmate, I use the concept of karma developed by Mere Conscious School which came into existence around 400 ADs. According to this Buddhist school, the action we take in each earth life is transformed into karmic seeds which are uniquely stored in each individual’s higher level of memory. This memory is the source that brings two lovers back together.

Because Buddhists believe in self-responsibility, we have power to choose how to react to the reunion. Although Alain falls in love with Chloe (his soulmate) shortly after meeting her, he can choose how to deal with his feelings for her. He can break the force of karma with Chloe any time he wants. Thus far, he chooses not to withdraw his feelings.

There are reasons why people want to use scientific theory to explain their love affair, especially if it has a tragic ending because scientific theory can ease the pain of a broken heart. Since meeting Chloe is merely a random event, she is not a significant person to Alain’s life. There will be a lot of random encounters with different women in Alain’s life.

For readers who seek love, be aware that you have control your romantic fate.

Further Consideration:

Do you know you have a choice not to develop the relationship with your partner?

What is the difference between law of attraction and law of karma?