Knowledge can change your romantic fate

Imagine that you are Helen in the following story: While having a family gathering, Helen’s dad made a big fuss about turkey and stuffing, directing his bitterness and complaints towards her younger sister, Amanda. Amanda dropped her head and pretended she wasn’t there, which agitated her father even more, Knowing he couldn’t get a fight with Amanda, he turned to Helen, who in front of all her uncles, aunts and grandparents, exploded in anger. She swore furiously and vowed that she would leave the house as soon as she finished high school.

This painful incident 20 years ago has played itself over and over in Helen’s head. The family gatherings have continued and still her father picks on Amanda, and again Helen knows that she will be the next target. This time, however, her reaction will be different. During the summer she took a course in social and emotional learning and development and the knowledge she gained enabled her to understand her father’s behavior. Instead of fighting back with anger and pain, she observed him from the higher plane of empathy.

With non-attachment, Helen feels a different kind of pain – the pain of her father’s loss of her mother to another man 22 years ago.

In The Sacred Path of the Soulmate I point out that love only exists through the connection of moral qualities between the lovers and the beloved. Moral qualities will be refined only by insight and wisdom. In the story of Helen, her insight why her father has become the person he is allows her to gain the ability to become detached from her father’s anger.

In a previous post, I pointed out that to be aware of your emotions, thoughts and behaviours is the beginning of this self-awareness developmental journey. There are different levels of awareness. Awareness can be manifested in the form of sensing, knowing, understanding, feeling, intuition and observation.

Observation is a conceptually laden activity, which means that you cannot know what you are observing if you have no prior knowledge and if you have not learned the name of the concept from the culture.

There are different levels of observation. One example is given in Helen’s story. As a child, she could see the anger in her father’s face, hear his malicious words, and observe that he was angry. Her observations gave her that information but could not tell her the true cause of his anger. Through the knowledge she gained in her summer developmental course, she came to realize that her father’s pain of losing her mother had unconsciously caused him to channel his hurt in an angry display towards her and her sister. Her father was unaware of the true source of his anger and the reason for his behaviour.

For my readers seeking a love connection: Pay attention to how much your potential love interest enjoys learning. Is he/she open-minded?

Further Consideration:

Why can knowledge change your romantic fate?

Why is your observation conceptually laden?

For more information about observation, please refer to Changing Fate Through Reincarnation Chapter 1.1 and 1.2